I love it when some loudmouthed lush ends up stepping on his own booze-soaked tongue.
Look, I fully admit I’m a remarkably opinionated person. If you've read my blog at all prior to this, then I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. And I usually accept it with good humor when someone disagrees with my opinion; I certainly don’t think everyone should feel exactly as I do on every topic. I do, however, expect people to be consistent in their beliefs. I believe, for example, that driving drunk is deplorable. By this, I mean that I personally feel it is wrong for anyone to drink and drive, including me. What's more, I would be willing to guess that most of the people reading this would concur that piloting a car while intoxicated earns you a score near the tippy-top of the Moron-o-Meter.
Well, it would seem from the comic strips shown below that Mallard Fillmore creator Bruce Tinsley also feels drunk driving is deplorable. His strips clearly indicate that he feels driving while under the influence of alcohol is defintely… no, wait a second… hmmmm…
Nope, my bad. It’s not so much the selfish evil of driving drunk that Tinsley finds so distressing, but rather the fact that he lacks the celebrity status to get away with it. See, Tinsley was arrested last December 4th in Columbus, Indiana, for DUI after blowing a blood-alcohol reading of 0.14. For those not familiar with the fine art of liver-pickling, a breathalyzer reading like that advances one right past the status of “piss-drunk” and straight on into the foul territory known as “hopelessly shit-faced”. Seriously, a blood-alcohol level of 0.14 means a man of Tinsley’s size is lucky to even be conscious. Asking someone that hammered to walk a white line is pointless because by then they’ve probably lost all awareness of their own legs. I’m surprised Tinsley could even figure out where to stick the breathalyzer’s mouthpiece.
So this is my little homage to the stunningly sanctimonious hypocrisy of asshat cartoonist Edward Bruce Tinsley: two sour grapes rants about drunken drivers placed beside their author’s mug shot taken in connection with his own arrest for drunken driving. Biting irony – gawd how I love it!
Many thanks to Josh, the Comics Curmudgeon for getting this story some deserved extra exposure.
Mallard Fillmore is owned by King Features Syndicate, a unit of the Hearst Corporation. The Mallard Fillmore strips accompanying this editorial appear under the protections granted by fair use as described in the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. § 107. Tinsley’s mug shot was taken by the Bartholomew County Sheriff's Department and is public record.