Okay, so it wasn’t exactly a Sally Field moment, but I did feel pretty special last night at the company awards banquet when they called me out as the advertising department’s “Achiever” for 2006. It’s always nice to be recognized by your superiors as someone who made a difference, but it’s doubly special for me due to my incredibly low self-assurance.
Yup, when it comes to confidence in my abilities, I gots me a narrow urethra.
See, every time I start a new project, I have this fear that it will be the one that I botch completely and which reveals to everyone that I am just some hack artist who just happened to get lucky for a while. Hasn’t happened yet. In fact, I’ve been quite happy with my work lately. And evidently, so have my art director and those above him. Bonus.
So, for the time being anyway, the artistic juices keep flowing – afore-mentioned metaphorical diminished passageways be damned.
Some highlights from the evening you might find enjoyable are:
1. I was the only man there without a tie. Fact is I don’t even own a tie. I kid you not.
But here’s something wonderful that came out of that: my friend and coworker Joel had his tie in his pocket for when the event were to actually get underway, but when he saw how anxious I was over the fact I was the only guy lacking one, he decided to leave his right where it was out of solidarity for me. That made two guys without ties. Now that’s selfless compassion, folks.
Joel was the Achiever for Merchandising, by the way. Because he rocks.
2. I realized last night I’m not a big fan of cuisine.
Pickled cabbage salad? Give me a basic coleslaw any day of the week. Blanched asparagus? Gah! Steam up some broccoli and I’m golden. Garnish? Hmm. How about leaving the twigs off my plate and maybe there will be room for more than six bites. Just a thought.
3. Shaking hands with every single VP in the company makes me sweat profusely. They all probably thought I had the flu or something.
4. 78% of women who attended had heels of 3" or higher.* Awesome.
5. Seeing a nine-foot-tall projection of one’s own face is disturbing, especially when you’re someone as non-photogenic as I am. Good thing they gave out the awards after dinner.
*This statistic, while pulled completely out of Kirk's ass, is actually very close to reality.