The Book of Deej, Ch. 4: Snip, Snip

The Deej went under the knife last Tuesday.

He and his brother Edgar both went in for their obligatory neutering and vaccinations. They’ve since been doing some recuperating, which explains DG’s post the other day. His web-surfing logically increased while he was laid up and he eventually figured out how to use VOX. He's a very clever kitteh.

Anyway, Tuesday was not a fun day for any of us. DG and Edgar where to be at the vet’s by 7:20am and the single requirement had been that they have no food for 24 hours prior to their appointment. This meant the other cats would have to fast as well, since the only room in the house where DG and Edgar could be quarantined already has a permanent resident and she really doesn’t like to share.

And so all food dishes were all put in the pantry Monday evening and the Cursed Sunset of the Insanely Moody Felines began. Minor altercations were had. Surfaces were pissed upon. Items were knocked to the floor. I went to bed early.

Castration Day

The veterinarian’s office is only about fifteen minutes away, so I had Zachary put the hungry and unsuspecting kittens in their carriers around ten to seven. Zach was an invaluable aid to me because I was determined not to be associated with this venture in any way in DG’s mind. There is a cat in our house, Stripe, whom I think has never forgiven me for taking him to be neutered. I’m lucky to even get near him most of the time; it’s that bad. It would absolutely kill me if DG were to shun me like that. So I had Zach do the dirty work and I hardly spoke a word the entire time.

When we arrived at the vet’s, I went in to take care of the paperwork before having Zach bring the carriers in so that I could talk freely without DG hearing me. Once everything was set to go, Zach brought the kittens in and we sat waiting for an intern to come out and take them. The time was precisely 7:16am. DG and Edgar would not be taken from us until 7:30. It would prove to be the longest fourteen minutes in my recent memory.

I described in Chapter 3 the effect DG’s little meow has on one’s bloodpump. Well, he wailed during the entire drive out and most of the time we waited in the vet’s office. Only there was this added note of absolute fear that utterly soured the otherwise beautiful mewling of my Li’l Deej.

Edgar, as always, remained stoic and silent.

The waiting was made more trying by a couple barking dogs and the old woman sitting next to me with a lapful of hyperactive Pomeranians and a withered torso slathered in some orthopedic salve, the scent of which was having a familiar effect on my asthma.

Through the tiny holes in the carrier resting in my lap, I could see DG shuffling around, burying himself under the blanket. I wanted so badly to take him out and comfort him, but I couldn’t risk being associated in his mind with such a terrifying experience. All I wanted was for the intern to come out and take him from me and yet when she finally did, all I wanted to do was take him home. It sucked.

I took Zachary back to the house and went to work. They had said to call around noon to find out when DG and Edgar could be picked up. I called at 12:03 so as not to seem too anxious. They told me both kittens had come out of anesthesia just fine and were now relaxing under the effect of a morphine shot (an extra $18 each, but money well-spent). I could pick them up at two o’clock.

Dad, You’re Really Harshin’ My Buzz!

Anyone who has ever spent time in a hospital and been administered powerful narcotics like morphine knows that there is a coming-down phase that is not a particularly enjoyable experience. It beats the alternative of writhing in agony for hours with no analgesics at all, but it bites ass nevertheless. Sadly, I neglected to consider this side effect and attempted, way too soon, to nuzzle The Deej. He cut me in multiple places as he launched himself from my arms. Completely freaked out, he ran downstairs and hid himself behind the toilet in the laundry room.

Edgar, as always, remained stoic and silent.

By evening, both kittens were returning to normal with the obvious exception that they were not as inclined to tear it up all over the house as they had been in previous days. The morphine had gone. They were groggy and sore. And tired.

I cradled DG near my face and kissed him on the chest for a long time, listening to him purr. He was soft and warm and happy. He did not blame me for leaving him in a strange place to be castrated. He wasn’t afraid of me or angry with me. He was asleep in daddy’s hands with his little kitty smile on his face.

Oh thank God. He was still my Li’l Deej.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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20 Responses to The Book of Deej, Ch. 4: Snip, Snip

  1. arbed says:

    awwww glad it had a sweet ending! – they'll be feeling fine in no timeand btw, I also have a black kitty named edgar – never thought I'd ever come across another one

  2. Kirk says:

    "awwww glad it had a sweet ending! – they'll be feeling fine in no time"Oh, yes. Even as I was writing this, they were chasing each other all over the place. Concentration was difficult, so apologies for any typos I missed."…and btw, I also have a black kitty named edgar – never thought I'd ever come across another one."I recall you mentioning that at little miao's blog, but I didn't know yours was also black. Cool! Does he have a white patch on his chest like mine?

  3. arbed says:

    he's completely black from one end to the other lol

  4. Marque says:

    yay! so glad everything is fine with the little sweeties. i had a siamese a few months ago – in the midst of all the craziness going on – he ran between my legs and out the door. he was immediately hit by a car and killed.it devastated me. god, i love him. so much. he was perfect – and i am afraid to ever get another one – even though i want to (and name him 'ming' just like my former sweet baby). but i feel he would never be as perfect as ming was.i hope i get the courage to do it soon, though. there is an empty space in my heart only he could fill.**sorry for the depressing post…seeing your kittys brings it out in me.**

  5. Kirk says:

    Oh, Marque, I'm so sorry. That on top of everything else? Gah!I think you should get a new kitteh. It's no betrayal to Ming I to get a Ming II and those pits in the soul do need to be filled.Don't worry about a depressing comment. I want people to express themselves, not say what they think I want to hear. Thanks for sharing such a painful memory, M.

  6. lizzy says:

    aww it's good to know he's still daddy's little boy. :)when i did it to my guys i didn't have to deny them food for 24 hours and i was waiting in the waiting room while the vet did the procedure and it didn't take long at all. they woke up at home and were groggy for a while but no morphine. and they knew very well who took them to the vet and they didn't hold it against me either lol. when i did it to chef it was because i had no choice. he was getting aggressive and beat up shimmy really bad. shimmy got so scared he spent six months in the bathroom, even if chef was fixed and had mellowed out. he finally dared to come out and now they're friends again but maan…oh and marque, if you read this, a new siamese kitten will fill the hole in your heart. shimmy filled the hole after my first shimmy who was also a blue point siamese. it worked even if they have completely different personalities.

  7. Asti says:

    ::sniffle:: What with all my work fostering abandoned kitties, I know what you went through. Still, it's kinder than NOT getting them "done".

  8. Lurkertype says:

    Hell-spawn Deej will always wuv daddy for the feeding and pooping.TK (who takes over my blog on occasion) didn't hold the snip against us either. Even when he came home wearing the satellite dish, which he managed to lose somewhere in the house after a few days.

  9. Marie says:

    Aww..I am so glad your kitteh's are ok. And of course Deej is not angry with you. Pets are full of unconditional love. And they sense your love for them as well.
    Both my babies have been spayed and neutered (one girl ..one boy)..and Paco (our new puppy) will be neutered as well, when he is old enough.
    I can see from your comments your pets are as special to you, as ours are to us. Kids in fur (as I call them)
    You are a wonderful pet daddy!!!

  10. Bookmole says:

    How many cats do you have, exactly? Just curious – and I am sorry if you have already mentioned it and I have just not noticed it! But it seems like you have gazillions – and I thought only little old ladies (or men, let's not be sexist here) had gazillions of cats.

  11. Kirk says:

    "How many cats do you have, exactly? Just curious – and I am sorry if you have already mentioned it and I have just not noticed it!"Good questions, Bookmole. No, I have never mentioned the number exactly and after this probably won't again. It incurs too much judgment. People think I don't have enough love to go around. The fools! Ha! They know me not!Momma cat Lucky lives in Karin's office, where she lazily whiles away her days in the window. She comes out from time to time to socialize and hand one of her children their ass for sport. But she mostly likes to stay by herself.All our other cats are Lucky's children. There are Salem and Stripe, a black and a tabby, who are the oldest behind Lucky and are litter-mates. Unlike DG & Edgar, who are also litter-mates, these two do not get along at all. That's fine, though, because all Stripe really does is sleep and eat. I am not kidding. His very seldom ever ambulatory. Salem is Karin's favorite and spends most of his time on her lap.Next is Raven. He's all black and weighs in at 18 pounds. He used to try to sex everyone including the dogs. After we had him neutered, he just started eating. Never stopped. He's a sweetie and pretty much stays downstairs. Then there is Poe, a tabby, who is Amanda's cat and who has lived in her room ever since he was injured (not permanently) in play with the dogs which got too rough. He comes out occasionally, as well, but like his mom, prefers solitude.Finally are the kittens DG and Edgar, who are the last babies Lucky will ever birth. The intention was to only keep Edgar and I decided on this because of the age of the other cats. Besides Lucky, the others are all so close in age that I was worried about what it would do to Karin when all of them passed at right around the same time. But then, after DG's ordeal, I was too attached to let anyone else have him, and that's how we ended up with seven cats instead of the not-nearly-as-upsetting number of six.I'll just conclude by making it clear that although we pay out a small fortune in pet food, litter, vet bills and license fees, all of our animals are fixed, well taken care of and loved beyond description. We own a house and never let our cats outside to be splattered or eaten. The dogs enjoy daily runs and various games using hedgehogs. Thanks for getting that out of the way for me, Bookmole. It's a weight off. Cheers!

  12. Kirk says:

    Well, I guess you technically only asked one question. So what I meant to say was, "Good question, Bookmole." Ugh.

  13. arbed says:

    I've never lived in a multi-cat household so it was interesting to read about the (lack of) interaction and personalities
    I'd never get another cat at this point (Edgar is almost 12 and is a big baby so I don't think he could handle it) but I'm determined that after he's gone, I'm getting at least a pair, siblings.

  14. Miss Parker says:

    Your house sounds like my house growing up. My mom never met an animal she didn't like, and so the house was always full of cats and dogs (…and birds and lizards and whatever other creature in need crossed our path…) When people would ask how many cats we had and we said eight, their mouths always dropped open. But nobody went hungry, or unhealthy, or unloved. She's down to three ancient cats now and one dog. Even with that many pets, it's always so hard on everyone (the other pets included) when we lose one.I can't have pets in my current apartment, but I get to go into work everyday at the Humane Society and play with the 40 cats or so who live in the room behind my desk, and that is pretty fantastic. I can't imagine a life completely devoid of animals. I love your stories about DG! Your cats are adorable.

  15. Bookmole says:

    S'ok. The most we had was three. Sorry – we had three. Sonja & Karma, children of a pedigree silver tabby slut and a black tom who came acarousing one day. Result – a litter of kits not to breed standard. Hah! They were delightful nonetheless. Then, when Middle Son was two, Hungry adopted us. He was, I think, a Turkish Van. Laid back does not adequately describe a cat who was used as a toy by three under threes. Well supervised of course – the children had to learn they were not toys, and the way to do that is to let them go too far. Worked with Sonja & Karma, but Hungry would let them do almost anything. Fortunately, the lessons learnt from the other two took hold!Karma lived to 18, died of kidney failure. Sonja got cancer in her bones at 19, and the vet said he could take off the entire leg or have her put to sleep. He seemed suprised that we were willing to spend nearly £1,000 on the operation, post operative care and palliative care over the next two years. She coped amazingly well for such an old dear. She took to lying on the sofa between the kitchen and dining room, where everyone passes at least 20 times a day – got heaps of love in those last years.Hungry died of cat flu – it was almost like he missed the others too much. In his sleep, peacefully. So now they are all buried at the bottom of the garden under a clematis which flowers beautifully on the cat manure. Oh, and the two rats Daughter had, with her need for a pet.

  16. Auds says:

    Hehe, after Cardea was fixed she was taught to expose her belly by lifting a leg in the play dead position whenever we say "Show Daddy your booboo." Then we give her a good belly rub. =)

  17. Wow! Growing up, my mom hated cats and dogs so she never let us have one of either.I did however, have 6 hamsters, a turtle and two 50 gallons fish tanks that I managed to sneak in on her.But I love your kitties! They're so cute — they make me want to reach out and give them a good cuddle!

  18. I feel the love, Kirk. I feel the kitteh love. Good post. No. Great post.

  19. Kirk says:

    Thanks, Lara! I love him more than words can express, so I'm glad you at least got an idea of the magnitude.

  20. RedScylla says:

    This is why I was happy to have my kittehs neutered before they ever met me. I'm just happy momma who feeds them. I have never taken them to the vet for a painful surgery.(And as long as the cats are healthy and well-cared for, there is no shame in being a crazy cat guy ;oP )

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