You know, we’re well past the age of hairy chests and gold chains, yet I still see men who cannot seem to grasp what the true nature of manliness actually is. They do the most insipid things to appear virile and masculine thereby succeeding only in revealing to everyone the basest aspects of being male. As a result, there are quite a lot of women in the world who think that good men simply don’t exist. If he’s not a cheater, then he’s an abuser. If not that, then he must be either a drunkard or a pill-popper. No? That settles it; he’s one of those pathetic punks who’s only capable of loving himself and his car.
And from what I’ve personally seen of late, such concerns are completely justified. I've met some real jerks recently.
So I’m going to try and sharpen the line a little bit for the idiot knobs who haven’t quite got it figured it out yet. Hopefully, some of the arrogant and aging frat-boys out there will read this and realize it’s time to stop being loutish pigs and start thinking like grown-ups.
Okay, so, in no particular order:
Bragging about your penis is NOT MANLY.
Bragging about your baby daughter IS MANLY.
Having a lot of money and talking about it is NOT MANLY.
Giving a lot of money and not talking about it IS MANLY.
Breaking people down is NOT MANLY.
Lifting people up IS MANLY.
Being able to consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol is NOT MANLY.
Being able to have a great time with friends sans alcohol IS MANLY.
Buying spinners for your car is NOT MANLY.
Buying tampons for your girlfriend IS MANLY.
Having sex with as many women as you can is NOT MANLY.
Having sex with your soul mate as many times as you can IS MANLY.
Physically assaulting someone is NOT MANLY.
Abstaining from violence IS MANLY.
I feel like I’m starting to ramble, so I‘m going to stop here. But I think these few examples should get the sharper specimens in the herd to begin loping in the right direction.
Hey, hope springs eternal, right?