The Deej has pretty much two settings: full speed and off. His medium setting is so intermittent that we pretty much consider it on the fritz. If he’s not tearing something up, then it’s probably only because he’s crashed out somewhere.
You already know from Chapter 2 about how he’ll just lounge about in an empty dog food dish, and I’ve shown you how he also sleeps with our German Shepherds. But I haven’t really touched on the bizarre positions in which DG will spend his catnaps. He has an incalculable number of these positions, so this is by no means an exhaustive list; it merely represents the ones I happen to like most.
Catnap Position No. 42: Beverage Box Bunk
Cardboard boxes, both high-walled and low-walled, are enjoyed as beds but since their presence is limited to Costco-day and maybe a day or two following, this is not as common a position as it might seem. When there’s a box there, however, the Deej usually takes advantage of it. His brother Edgar loves to sleep in boxes, too, so often times you’ll see them both crammed in a box together. It looks like some sort of futuristic Family Pet 2-Pak (Re-animating agent included! Just inject and cuddle!).
Catnap Position No. 166: Fully Extended, Forepaws Crossed
If you read Chapter 1 about how DG acquired his peculiar name, then you can probably guess that due to all the bowel massages, he has come to really enjoy a good bellyrub. This position is often the result of falling asleep in the midst of just such tummy treatment. Fortunately, this is no longer accompanied by a runny bowel movement.
The crossed paws – and this is straight from the kitteh’s mouth – are positioned like this because it makes him feel “Egypt-y”. When I explained that the Sphinx does not cross its paws, Li’l Deej replied that a cat with a people head is no cat at all. Real Egypt-y cats, he informed me, cross their paws when they sleep.
Catnap Position No. 219: Fully Extended, Forepaws at Sides
Li’l Deej used to fall asleep in my arms like this a lot. It is also a post-bellyrub position, and not a lot different than the previous one, but I had to mention it and include it in the photos because it’s So. Darn. Cute!
Catnap Position No. 421: Hunched Over Raised Platform
My casual name for this one is “The Kilroy”. He’s all peering over his wall and shit. Only, you know, asleep. He actually sleeps like this more than you would think. He’ll just walk up to the arm of a chair or your lap or something, hunch over, and crash out.
The thing about these cute-as-all-get-out sleeping positions is that they inspire you to want to pick him up and nuzzle him, but you dare not, lest he become fully awake. Then he switches right back over to Purée.