Look, you probably don’t want to read this one. I’m in a mental place today that seems to be painted in mostly jet and varying dark shades of blue. There are flashes of bright red in there, too, but they pretty much only remain long enough to stab me in the retina before fading out again, leaving blackened vortexes in their place, each residual eddy representing something similar to one of the following:
♣ A coworker sneezed as she walked by my cubicle. She immediately followed it by quietly saying, “Bless me.” For some reason, this struck me as utterly lonesome and sorrowful, as if she had grown used to no one bothering to say it for her.
♣ Two people will split last night’s 370,000,000 Mega Millions Lottery jackpot and no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep myself from pondering how many people in this country threw away money they should have spent on baby formula just for a 1-in-175,711,536 chance of becoming rich.
♣ Sometimes, someone telling you “It’s not the end of the world” is no consolation at all because the end of the world would actually bring relief.
♣ A few regrets I honestly thought I was over might actually just be lying dormant.
This by no means my life sucks or that I’m contemplating doing a few straight shots of Drāno. Not at all. This is simply what we manic-depressives have to deal with from time to time and occasionally we might need to unload some of the more unnecessary baggage.
Thanks for letting me get that out. I feel much better now.