I’m going to be frank with you. Most humans are, by and large, unworthy of their lofty status in nature. Sure, humans can reason out the pros and cons of going with Buckhorn Beer over Rolling Rock whereas your common sewer rat cannot, but that’s hardly a consolation when you consider that there are still places in the world where people actually enjoy watching cockfights and canings and Jean Claude Van Damme movies.
And just when I start to think I have seen human crudeness and banality from every possible angle, I come across a lovely item like this:
An entire website. Dedicated to nuts. For trucks.
Look, I get the clever jape – they’re BALLS of STEEL – but the message I get from a guy hanging a pair of testicles from his back bumper is that the truck is his penis. That, or his own balls have been removed and bronzed and now dangle in effigy for all to see. Neither message is all that positive.
I have to say the lipstick mark is a
nice particularly tacky touch.
Now, I hate to be prejudicial, but I simply cannot help but make certain assumptions about any guy who is willing to throw down $50 for a steel scrotum and actually thinks it improves the appearance of his vehicle.
I can assume, for example, that he’d love one of these chrome pole-dancing strippers for his antenna. A steal at twenty clams!
Anyway, would you believe that the guy at the grocery store this afternoon with the die-cast genitalia hanging from his SUV got out wearing sandals with socks and a t-shirt depicting a woman in a bikini cavorting with a giant bottle of beer? Wish I had thought to get the name of the fictional brew; I’m sure it would have made the perfect punchline for this post.