Where’d Everybody Go?

Hmm, either my post about how to foil StatCounter was very well received and its instructions widely implemented, or I did something to cause 2/3 of my readership to suddenly decide to spend their free time elsewhere. The reduction in recorded visitors to Cthulhu is my Copilot have diminished quite considerably and at a staggering rate.

Being a pessimist by nature, I automatically assume the latter, so for those of you who still deign to hang around these murky waters, here's a vulgar cephalopod joke:

A man walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and declares: "This is an amazing octopus! I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it!"

Of course, everyone in the bar is incredulous and they start mocking him. He restates his assertion and soon a guy from the house band brings a guitar up to the man. The octopus takes hold of the guitar and starts jamming away, better than Jimi Hendrix. Baffled at what he's just seen, the guitarist gives the man $50. Next, the band's trumpet player brings up a trumpet. The octopus grabs the trumpet and starts expertly playing a piece by Dizzy Gillespie and soon another $50 changes hands. Then a giant Scotsman steps up with some bagpipes. The octopus picks up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, sets them down again.

"Can't you play the bagpipe?" asked the Scotsman.

"Play it?" replied the octopus, "I'm gonna fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

Read and post comments


About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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27 Responses to Where’d Everybody Go?

  1. faerie~wings says:

    Well, I still check on you daily. But, due to some recent insanity, we now are blocking Stat Counter, not accepting cookies from Vox and using an onion router. Hm, I wonder if our browsing is secure enough or if I should put a condom over the router just to be sure? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. IG says:

    You can't see me! Nyah nyah nyah. >:-D

  3. DKN says:

    HAHA! Good joke! I'm glad it didn't involve a 12" pianist, i was worried there for a bit…

  4. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    eh…I'm still here and I haven't tried to block the stat counter….I thought about trying to install one on my VOX, but decided not to.
    I'm technolically challenged and am scared to death of doing something wrong to the company's laptop and to our home computer. LOL!!!!

  5. I'd say your posts turned them off.

  6. Kirk says:

    "I'd say your posts turned them off."Care to elaborate? Because I'm coming up on one year here at VOX and I'd love to know what has changed (for good and bad) since CimC began. Go ahead, I can take it. ๐Ÿ˜›

  7. JamesTr says:

    I'm still here and still reading and not blocking statcounter. I've also noticed that my stats have dropped a lot recently. Of course, I attribute that to the slimming of my neighborhood and my reduction in recent posts.

  8. jaypo says:

    hahahaaahaaaa!!! Tha's a grrayt jooke, Capt.Kirk!!–ScottieYou skeert all the lurkers away with your mighty powers of observation and deduction.

  9. Rev Stan says:

    I started reading your post about Statcounter but it all got a bit like that far side cartoon which in one half has 'what we say to our dogs' and on the other half 'what our dogs hear'. I was the latter in this instance. I don't actually know what html is let alone where to stick it.I thus lay myself open to being tracked, monitored, biscuited and whatever else it was you were talking about.PS re the joke, the old ones are… the old ones.

  10. Brown Suga' says:

    OMG ROFL!!! That was marvellous.

    And oy, we're still here. Where did you go?

    Jokes apart, though, I'm thinking a lot of people did take your advice and block Statcounter.
    If you want to keep a tab on the number of your visitors (without having to know the sordid details of their websurfing) you can do so with this.

  11. Aww, sorry, that was sarcasm. I was teasing you about all the fearmongering you've been doing about Statcounter.

  12. Kirk says:

    Ha! I know, huh? One way or another, my posts about
    StatCounter are affecting my StatCounter results. Go figure. ๐Ÿ˜›

    I think I might actually go ahead and try Suga's
    suggestion, since I really don't care about peoples' IP addresses, screen
    resolution, etc.

  13. Drude says:

    I likes pixhurs…. you didna post any fer a while…. I DO read your posts though even the long complicated ones (and I haven't blocked statcounter). Just saying, I really like when there are pictures. Could also be that it's the end of summer (-holidays) and everybody got too busy to keep up with their hoods -?

  14. I use and love my statcounter, however, I assure you that I am not using it for anything nefarious. I only look at it to see what posts are being read and where the reader is from so I can tailor my posts to the topics I enjoy writing about and people are finding interesting so I can post more of those topics, or learn what topics are currently popular in whatever palce the hit came from (I am finding my Primal Scream & Soccer Songs posts really popular in certain parts of Europe) and give people more of what they want to read. Example: I had completely forgetten about an old post I made about Catholism, but I am finding through Statcounter that MANY people all over the world are reading it. So, if I wanted to increase outside traffic to my blog, I could post more about Catholic dogma. That's what I use Statcounter for.

  15. Erin says:

    hahahaha oh god i have a new favorite joke.and i check my friends page every day, which you kirk, are a part of.so i doubt stats counter counts that?

  16. Lorelei says:

    Kirk, don't worry, I STILL LOVE YOU and stal…err…read your blog as often as possible.

  17. Lurkertype says:

    More of teh Deej and the dawgs would get those stats up, I'm sure. Although I know teh Deej saves the best pictures of him for his own blog.(and I did block StatCounter after your post)

  18. jaypo says:

    Kirk, I think you did everyone a great justice by detailing what StatCounter can be used for, not necessarily what it will be used for. Because many people just don't think about the repercussions of their technical decisions. That's why people STILL give their SS numbers over the phone to cons. I can't believe they do, but they do, without a thought to consequence. Same thing with stuff like StatCounter.I don't have StatCounter on my blog because 1) none of my pages are public and 2) I would only care about who and where Stat info in the most paranoid way so I spare myself the bother.

  19. You all know Statcounter is not the only thing/application out there that culls this kind of information, right!?

  20. Kirk says:

    "You all know Statcounter is not the only thing/application out there that culls this kind of information, right!?"Yeah, the only reason I specifically wrote about it is because it seemed to be the big new fad here at VOX.

  21. Cat says:

    Have no fear..I'm still here….and I haven't blocked statcounter either because…well…I don't mind being tracked..I come up as Missouri most of the time anyways even though I'm in Texas…go figure…I'm on that nifty Satellite Internet so I guess it depends on which sat they bounce me off of is where I come up….

  22. K. says:

    Don't worry, I'm still reading, it's just that I usually only use Vox from work, and they've been making me do stuff lately. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?!?

  23. Emmi says:

    I still come here regularly to read your lovely blog, and to pay my respects to the Great Cthulhu, but as you know, I've been hammered busy. Looking forward to a break so I can read more here!
    That discounts the fact that every so often you write a racy post that would make Pamela Anderson blush, so I'm sometimes "speechless" afterwards. Not that I'm suggesting you stop. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  24. Jenn F. says:

    *snort* I'll never look at bagpipes the same again…

  25. Marie says:

    Statcounter or not… I am still a regular visitor (even though I may not always respond)

  26. "How to get its pajamas off…"
    You slay me.

  27. lizzy says:

    i'm still around checking my neighborhood but i have to admit that life has been getting in the way of my voxing activity lately… i'm not blocking the counter, mainly because i didn't get how to do it lol

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