Keep Only the Best: My Goodbye to Marque Thompson

Marque. Emphasis on the second syllable. It bugged the hell out of her when people mispronounced it.

I never had to worry about that, though. I just called her M.

We had a lot of things in common, not the least of which was bipolar disorder – what she called her "beautiful curse". Her critics thought it made her weak; they hadn't the slightest clue how strong she was. Sure, she got knocked down a lot – not surprising, considering how many people lined up to take a shot – but she kept getting back up.

That fortitude inspired a heck of a lot of people. People all around the world.

Two weeks ago, Marque took a blow from which she would not get back up. I’ve had a really tough time reconciling it, to be honest – not just because the tragedy seems impossible to me, but also because my relationship with Marque was of such a unique nature. Our friendship was as troubled as it was deep. The kinship we had discovered was a bouquet with far too many thorns per stem. And before it was over, situations reached the unbearable. I found myself turning away from someone I had once loved like a sister.

I vanished from Marque’s VOX ‘hood; she vanished from mine. People noticed and rumors circulated, fortunately without much drama. M’s writing began to wane in frequency as she fought through personal issues I no longer cared about. Indeed, the entire Team Marque dynamic seemed to be fully destroyed. Our mutual friends couldn’t believe that two people who had stood together against some the vilest slime ever to be slung at VOX were no longer even speaking to one another.

Four days ago, when I read the news that Marque had died, the emotional confusion was new and profound, and it was quite some time before I could even put two sentences together on the subject. There was so much angst and resentment there, so much anger and disappointment, but there was also the distinct residual effect of a true and earnest friendship. Having been laid up with a serious chest cold, I’ve had plenty of time to sort through it all and come to some resolute closure. The whole of my feelings on Marque’s passing were summed up most succinctly as I listened to a section of the song playing on my iPod:

When my time comes,
Forget the wrong that I’ve done,
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.
Don’t resent me,
And when you’re feeling empty,
Keep me in your memory.
Leave out all the rest.

I’ll move on from here remembering Marque Thompson for all the things I loved about her: her creativity, her sense of humor, her perseverance, her zeal.

I’ll leave out all the rest.

Good night, M.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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28 Responses to Keep Only the Best: My Goodbye to Marque Thompson

  1. Dancing Bear says:

    I just remember when you guys were close and missed all the other stuff. Closeness never leaves. The best of friends disagree but sometimes there is just more depth than a disagreement can end. I know you and she had a very special friendship. I don't need to know anything else and I am just really glad that everybody knew that she was an earthshaker. She wished to be. And she was.

  2. Austin1234 says:

    There was a time when we all were together, then a time when we weren't and now there is now, when many of us are back with each other…maybe only because of Marque. In the end she found a way to make the original days of "Team Marque" seem a little less distant than they were.
    Get well my friend, there are many more days.

  3. Carlisa says:

    That's a beautiful Memorial, Kirk. I'm sure you were special to her, too. A big (((hug)))

  4. jaypo says:

    Beautiful post, kirk. ((((hugs))))

  5. Jessica Ley says:

    I love the honesty and sincerity. I am sure she valued your friendship even if at times she may not have been able to express it or push you away. And I have no doubt that she would have felt so privelaged to read all of these posts. She had such a hard time seeing any good in herself. So glad that others saw it for her and expressed it to her and are also keeping her memory alive.

  6. Kzinti says:

    <choke><nods head>

  7. Well written Kirk- you are always so eloquent. You know, people disappear and come back here at Vox for a variety of reasons. It's all forgivable in the end when it's based on love and friendship. Love and friendship does not exempt us from self preservation. We expect the most from those we love and often when they don't deliver we turn our back for a short while. Marque's larger than life persona and her luscious writing drew us in and she always understood that some of us needed space periodically. She understood that she was a decadent dessert and that sometimes we would push away from the table. She also knew that those who loved her loved her unconditionally.

  8. bouche says:

    Kirk, other friends and family of Marque. I didn't know her, but I send to you my condolences.

  9. Budd says:

    That sucks! She was cool people.

  10. Jay says:

    [this is fucking perfect](She would have said something like that.)I'll always remember her at her best too.

  11. lizzy says:

    (((kirk)))i cried reading this and maybe she would have too. in the end the forgiveness always comes if the friendship was genuine. and i know it was.

  12. spooktastic says:

    i was secretly hoping that you would write about this because i've been having a hard time reconciling my feelings too. i don't know how to feel in a lot of ways, and the last words we exchanged with each other weren't happy ones. and then i just stopped caring. then this happens. and i don't know how i feel. there is a sense of relief because a hurricane can only blow for a finite amount of time. and she had weathered enough of her storm. i feel so many things. and i haven't yet really sat down with myself to think about this because i'm afraid of what will happen if i do that. what truths will i uncover within myself if i do that? we too shared bipolar disorder. and i would look at her and think that she is who i was going to become if i didn't accept the fact that i needed help, and then went out and got the help. i'll always remember her humor, her intensity, the fire that burned in her belly. and i don't know what else to say.

  13. Brown Suga' says:

    [this is perfect]
    I knew you'll pull this off, Kirk.

  14. jodipodi says:

    I will also remember the same Marque as you Kirk. 🙂
    She was one of the first people I met on Vox, and she rocked. (and scared the crap out of me at times too!)
    We too, as you know, removed each other from our n'hoods because of varying different reasons, none of which are important now. But I find comfort in the fact I stumbled across her Vox again just before she passed away and left her a comment about her photograph with her daughter… she replied to me that she had missed me and thought about me often (or something like that) and was going to add me back to her n'hood again. She never did and of course I found out why a few days ago myself… but I am glad I found it within me to leave a comment, and glad that she finally knew that I had no grudges anymore.
    Hugs to you for a great honest post Kirk xxx

  15. shush now says:

    [this is really, really good] I think we all had our times where we were close to her, and times when we were distant. She herself chose to remember the close times and cast aside the distance, and we should, too.

  16. IG says:

    I saw that in her too, SN. When the hurricane passed, Marque would forgive instantly and completely. Sometimes it was harder for others to do the same… But I think she understood what a challenge she was; and she was always so happy when someone who had been distant came back into her life. I know she loved you, Kirk. What a formidable team you two made on Vox. When I remember the best of her, that's part of it: I remember how for a time you and she brought out the best in each other. It was really something.

  17. Cat says:

    I couldn't have said any of this better myself..You know how I felt..Big hugs. Hope you are getting well.

  18. lauowolf says:

    It's a hard thing when someone you've cared about is really gone.There's distance, and distance happens.It's fine sometimes to let go of a relationship, and let paths diverge. But to have someone go beyond the reach of second thoughts, or re-encounters?That is loss.

  19. CrowSeer says:

    Came to Vox a little too late to ever meet Marque, but I'm sorry for your loss.

  20. Jenn says:

    I feel I need to respond to Austin on this one Kirk…first of all, Kirk…AMAZING. Your words speak unlike any others.Austin, there was a time when we were all together. We were a team.I remember those days fondly yet, I don't miss them all that much.

  21. Austin1234 says:

    I guess, for me, Marque's passing made me realize how much you all mean to me; and how special it was, at least to me, when we all started Voxing… and to Kirk's point, that's best that I'm keeping.

  22. G says:

    Kirk, I only just joined your hood 10 mins ago.
    I didn't know Marque had fucking gone and DIED!
    Can you send me a link, or info or something?
    I had chatted with her real-time for a while then we kind of….left it and she left Vox and I never heard much from her since. I read your entry so I know you understand a bit.
    Any info you have would be appreciated. Private message me if you prefer.

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