I read James Lileks’s Bleat regularly simply because he’s a great writer. I don’t really care how his daughter’s first show-n-tell went or what old movie he obsessed over this week and I hardly, if ever, agree with him on political issues; I just enjoy the way he puts words together. He’s a bona fide master of his craft as evidenced by his entry today which proves unequivocally that it is possible to solicit a huge favor from your readers without coming off as a supplicating boob:
Note to Nintendo: either make lots more Wiis or shut up about them. Please. My child wants one, and it looks like there’s no chance on this planet, or any parallel versions of it I might access through some sort of quantum portal, that I will get one. I could order one from one of Amazon’s Preferred Hoarders, but I will be switched and hoss-whipped down Lyndale Avenue before I pay some one $200 dollars over the sticker price. At least you could rename it. It’s not the Wii. It’s the Themm. Wii don’t have one.
Also, since my child has made this request of Santa, you will probably destroy her faith in his powers.
Look, I’ll even take one from the Chinese factory where they make everything out of Lead, including the marzipan and the dog food. Just send a Wii to James Lileks, Star Tribune, 425 Portland Av.. Minneapolis MN, 55488, and I will send you a check for the entire amount plus shipping and ten dollars for you to buy a nice dessert on us. Thank you.
Lileks has a massive readership and he knows it. I’m clever enough to see the screed above for what it really is and despite my aggravation that he can so easily get away with it, all I can really do is applaud him – because you just know someone out there is going to buy a Wii and send it to him. Hell, I’d do it if I wasn’t broke as a joke; I’m sure he's good for it.
For the record, the EB Games in the mall across the street from my office building has a dozen Wiis, one of which is right in the front window, just waiting to be bought for a mere $249.99. If you’re still looking for a Nintendo Wii and you live in the Seattle area or possess a magic sleigh you can use to get here lickety-split, I can hook you up.
As for the Lileks household, I guess if his daughter doesn’t get a Wii this year, he can parlay the experience into one of his wonderful lessons on the perfect nature of capitalism. I sincerely doubt it will come to that, though.