OK, when the cephalopods start doing human stuff like obsessing over a prized possession, it’s time to really start considering a major freak-out.
This giant Pacific octopus, quaintly named Louis, was given a Mr. Potato Head for Christmas and tends to get rather testy whenever his handlers try to take the toy away from him.
Obviously, Great Cthulhu is preparing his minions. First, he started giving them human attributes like teeth, and now he’s working on their personalities. If he can do all this while still dead and dreaming, just imagine how crazy it’s going to be when he’s awakened! Oh, the huge manatee!
Seriously, people! If you think whackos who are willing to blow themselves up for their god are scary, just wait until you see the type of freaks who want nothing more than to be eaten alive by theirs!*
*I apologize if my refusal to be frightened by terrorists or to give them any kind of respect is offensive to my readers. I joke about them because I think they are jokes.