I wrote a “standard” joke a couple days ago and having now received a glowing reaction from the majority of a diverse selection of people, I’m confident that it is in fact a Good Joke. So I’m going to share it with you, my VOX peeps. I’ve made it “Neighborhood Only” because it is… dirty. You’ve been warned. Here we go:
Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flynt go into a bar. They see a gorgeous young woman sitting at a small table drinking alone.
Hugh Hefner says, “I’d love to get her out of her clothes and take pictures of her.”
Bob Guccione says, “I’d love to get her out of her clothes, slather her in motor oil, and take pictures of her.”
Larry Flynt says, “Hey, you guys think I can fit my pecker in this beer bottle?”
I’ll just give you a moment to regain your composure. I know it’s hard to quit laughing. Take your time.
Yeah, believe it or not, that joke was born from a conversation I was having with Amanda about the various “tiers” of periodical porn. She was understandably grossed out by the knowledge, gained from misdirected mail, that her sixth grade teacher had a Playboy subscription. I was trying to point out how it could have been soooooo much more disturbing, that it could have been a Penthouse or, worse, a Hustler or Swank inside the thin, black plastic bag that did absolutely nothing to conceal its contents. I learned quickly that Playboy’s reputation for intelligent articles and quality entertainment news did nothing to alter Panda’s opinion that it was a skeezy magazine and that her former schoolteacher was skeezy for subscribing to it. Fair enough.
The most common comment I’ve gotten about this joke is that the punch line surprises people. This was, of course, the intention and I’m delighted that so many people responded the way I wanted. A lot of people told me they thought the joke was going to go in a different direction – specifically, that it was going to make fun of Larry Flynt being in a wheelchair (you’ll note I said “go” into a bar instead of “walked” into a bar). My friend J, jokester extraordinaire, told me he thought the punch line was going to be that Larry Flynt says he just wishes he could walk over to her and say hello. That’s a pretty good alternate punch line, but I like mine better because it doesn’t leave any room for the audience to feel compassion for a loathsome piece of shit like Larry Flynt. Can’t have that, can we?
Love to know what you guys think. Is it a Good Joke? Should it become my new standard off-color gag? Or do I stick with my octopus joke?