I have only recently acquired photographic evidence that seems to prove that the
famously adorable ubiquitous and malignant icon of 21st century pop culture electro-vermin known as Pikachu is, in fact, 50 feet tall and female and is kept enslaved in some bunkered birthing facility where uniformed “staff” force her around the clock to produce countless high-voltage offspring! Or maybe she squirts out enormous, gloppy eggs, I’m not sure, but sources tell me the Japanese government plans to use the uncontrollable and highly destructive monsters as a part of its national defense program.
Gah. You'd think they'd at least wear gloves while doing that!