You’re getting tired, aren’t you? It’s starting to take its toll – this battle to hang on to every precious penny while simultaneously trying to justify such immense greed. It’s getting harder and harder to explain why you as “Christians” have no problem with obscene wealth and retributive killing, despite the very tenets of your faith commanding you* to the contrary**. At the end of the day, you are weary of continually defending the same indefensible positions such as the notion that paying for public schools and health care for children is bad but paying a fee just to withdraw your own money from the bank is perfectly acceptable. You’re starting to lose your grip and it’s showing. To wit…
♠ The “Chicken Little” metaphor is played. PLAYED. If you’re as clever as you think you are, come up with something new.
♠ Continually posting articles written by other, more articulate repugs isn’t “spreading the word”; it’s just a sad, slightly more acceptable form of plagiarism.
♠ Your group is becoming more and more crowded with straw men who, as everyone knows, only start showing up for your parties after the discerning and relevant people have gotten sleepy and headed home.
♠ Supporting McCain now that he’s the shoe-in after you’ve spent the last six months deriding his every move is probably the most obvious signifier of all.
You’ve got nothing. Nothing but years of shitty policy-making that has widened the gap between rich and poor, garnered a world full of enemies, made America weaker than ever (both militarily and financially), and stripped its citizens of civil rights which were once deemed the Most Important Thing Ever. But what did you expect? It’s not easy constantly trying to uphold flawed logic systems. It’s a taxing endeavor to support the systematic removal of your freedoms while claiming to be fighting to save those same freedoms. Apologizing for Dubya and his band of horned incubi would wear out even the most resilient of asshats – just ask Tony Snow. And I don’t even want to think about how demanding it must be for you to forever be outsmarting God (har!) by creatively re-interpreting whatever Bible passages don’t fit your Love-of-Money agenda.
You need a nap. Why not just lay those fat, self-absorbed heads down on a goose-feather pillow covered in a nice, 800 thread count Pratesi pillowcase and sleep it off for, oh, about forty years. When you wake up, a Democrat will have (once again) balanced the budget, restored our rights, and made it up to the old, formally loyal allies we’ve recently buggered but good. Then you can stretch, have a couple screwdrivers, and get right to work fucking it all up all over again.