Can’t Make Up Your Mind?

Life is full of tough choices. If you’re currently stuck in a quandary, consider the fact that you could be faced with much harder options from which to choose. You might’ve, for example, unknowingly disturbed a sleeping Djinn and then found yourself having to make really terrible choices such as these:

♠ Would you rather swim naked through a city block of sewage or keep a severed fish head in your underwear for a week?

♠ Would you rather eat bumble bees or poison ivy?

♠ Would you rather have teeth made out of chalk or a bellybutton that continually seeps a black, oily discharge?

♠ Would you rather have nerves in your fingernails or no nerves in your happy place?

♠ Would you rather brush your teeth with a used toilet scrubber or wipe your ass with 60-grit sandpaper?

♠ Would you rather smell strongly of cat piss or wear a sweat-stained maternity bra on your head the rest of your life?

♠ Would you rather spontaneously belch whenever anyone says your name or end every sentence with: “So sayeth Plumpy the Wet Booger!”

♠ Would you rather be the corpse-eating sidekick of an immortal serial killer or Ann Coulter’s sex slave?

Yeah, your silly dilemma doesn’t seem so tough now, does it? So pick already!

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
This entry was posted in Can I Say Something? and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Can’t Make Up Your Mind?

  1. Austin1234 says:

    1. Severed fish head in undies. Much less chance of getting sick and it might start to feel good.2. Bumble bees, they might taste good. Either one is going to cause to suffocate…3. Belly button that seeps and oily discharge. Gotta eat.4. Nerves in fingernails, hands down. No pun intended.5. Wipe ass with 60 grit sandpaper. I'm just tough down there.6. I already wear a sweat stained maternity bra on my head. What?7. So sayeth Plumpy the Wet Booger. Just cuz it sounds cool.8. Corpse eating sidekick. Ann Coulter doesn't deserve a sex slave. The world of BDSM requires intelligence, she has limited faculties in that area.

  2. jaypo says:

    HahaHAAAA!! Life is lookin' pretty good right now, Kirk, thanks! "Plumpy the Wet Booger"!! 😀

  3. Kirk says:

    "Ann Coulter doesn't deserve a sex slave."You're right about that. What's more, I used to think that a shiny PVC dress could add some sexy to any woman. Oh, how wrong I was.

  4. Austin1234 says:

    Oh God, I clicked on the link and just about barfed, geez, give a guy some warning or something:) Can't you just see Ann C. all dressed in her dominatrix gear spanking Bill O'Reilly. I'd pay money to see that.

  5. lauowolf says:

    You mean I can choose to have just one of each?Wish someone had told me earlier…

  6. Scott says:

    Would you rather be the corpse-eating sidekick of an immortal serial killer or Ann Coulter’s sex slave?
    Um…what was the difference, again?

  7. Red Pen says:

    This list certainly puts my dilemmas in perspective. I wonder: If I had nerves in my fingernails, would running them down a chalkboard be twice as heinous?

  8. Kirk says:

    "Um…what was the difference, again?"Awesome. You, sir, are my kind of funny.

  9. Kirk says:

    "If I had nerves in my fingernails, would running them down a chalkboard be twice as heinous?"I believe so, yes. Or at least half again as heinous.Here's a thought: what would you think of people who chewed their nails? :O

  10. RedScylla says:

    Good laughs. I'm slightly confused by the last question. I thought Ann Coulter was the corpse-eating sidekick of an immortal serial killer… So I'm choosing whether I want to be Ann Coulter or her sex slave? Fuck, that's a tough one.

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