Life is full of tough choices. If you’re currently stuck in a quandary, consider the fact that you could be faced with much harder options from which to choose. You might’ve, for example, unknowingly disturbed a sleeping Djinn and then found yourself having to make really terrible choices such as these:
♠ Would you rather swim naked through a city block of sewage or keep a severed fish head in your underwear for a week?
♠ Would you rather eat bumble bees or poison ivy?
♠ Would you rather have teeth made out of chalk or a bellybutton that continually seeps a black, oily discharge?
♠ Would you rather have nerves in your fingernails or no nerves in your happy place?
♠ Would you rather brush your teeth with a used toilet scrubber or wipe your ass with 60-grit sandpaper?
♠ Would you rather smell strongly of cat piss or wear a sweat-stained maternity bra on your head the rest of your life?
♠ Would you rather spontaneously belch whenever anyone says your name or end every sentence with: “So sayeth Plumpy the Wet Booger!”
♠ Would you rather be the corpse-eating sidekick of an immortal serial killer or Ann Coulter’s sex slave?
Yeah, your silly dilemma doesn’t seem so tough now, does it? So pick already!