So I’m pushing my cart through Albertson’s this morning, minding my own business, when a round, jolly-looking woman comes from out of nowhere (I blame a ridiculously overstocked endcap) and runs her cart straight into the side of mine. There was a moment of startled silence before I spoke up.
“Well,” I deadpanned, “I guess we better exchange insurance information.”
At that, the rotund lady began laughing. Hysterically. And then she started to turn red. Then commenced coughing. And sort of shaking a little. I pretty much watched her pleasure turn into predicament in the span of maybe eight seconds. She was coughing so violently that I thought an internal organ might peek out her mouth momentarily. I started to move to her aid – rather instinctively, I now recollect – but she threw her hand up in that gesture that says, “It’s alright. Don’t freak out. I’ll be fine. This happens all the time.”
And sure enough, a few moments later, she was fully upright and breathing normally again. I think the redness probably lasted a while, though. Wiping her eyes, she said, “Lordy, that struck me funny. He he. Made me swallow hard.”
My relief that she was recovering completely overshadowed any pride I might have had in my flawlessly delivered bit of improv.
The moral of this story is if you’re an amateur and you go around trying to be funny all the time, your lack of professional experience is bound to end up causing casualties eventually. The right joke in the wrong hands delivered the right way to the wrong person might just have the power to kill.
Then the meaning of “funny” starts to slowly mutate until you no longer understand the difference between funny-haha and funny-ohgodthepain. Next thing you know, you’re so maniacally obsessed with making everyone understand your new brand of comedy, you’ll do anything to get their attention, including wear ghastly amounts of makeup and blow stuff up.
By the way, have I mentioned yet how excited I am about the impending premiere of The Dark Night, two weeks* from today? Oh, it’s going to be something. Yes, indeedy.
I’m so excited, in fact, that I made you guys this lovely VOX banner. Feel free to use it as you see fit, at least until WB sends a cease and desist. 😛
Now, in the spirit of early preparation, I must go look up where my nearest IMAX theater is…
*three weeks for my friends in the UK.