(Not So) Deep Thoughts

♠ I've always thought "Moons Over My Hammy" sounded like the title of a porn film. The result of this is that I can’t so much as think about Denny’s without simultaneously thinking about sweaty, raunchy sex. See, it happened again.

♠ Cats are completely immune to guilt trips. This is most commonly verified by observing the feline reaction to one’s hostility over their improperly deposited body waste.

♠ Casinos do so ridiculously well only because they’re allowed to discriminate against the very best players. Well, that and the remarkable intelligence-lowering capabilities of alcohol.

♠ Sometimes I think our prison system has become a bit too conciliatory. Even so, it is a grand testament to the inestimable value of personal freedom that desperately hungry transients do not, as a rule, deliberately look for ways to acquire lifetime prison sentences.

♠ I imagine if mutant frog people lived in giant mud burrows at the bottom of New York’s East River, they would probably possess very impressive collections of handguns, empty purses, and human skeletons with cement bases.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
This entry was posted in Can I Say Something? and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to (Not So) Deep Thoughts

  1. IG says:

    "Moons Over My Hammy" sounded like the title of a porn film OMG, yes, it's true. I'm going to be all flushed and excited just walking into Denny's from now on.

  2. Kirk says:

    "I'm going to be all flushed and excited just walking into Denny's from now on." You're welcome. 🙂

  3. shush now says:

    I missed most of your post because of an odd mental image… perhaps if you want people to read your posts in the future, you should END with the porn, rather than beginning with it.

  4. Toe-Knee says:

    My cat has panic attacks over misdeposited body waste. It's actually humorous, he'll come to us in a tiff seeming more than a little embarrassed and point it out. The only time this happens is when he's sick.

  5. Kirk says:

    "…perhaps if you want people to read your posts in the future, you should END with the porn, rather than beginning with it."And here I was so concerned about making sure I ended on a humorous note, I completely gave no thought to which observation I should lead with. Ah, well. Live and learn. 🙂

  6. Kirk says:

    I am intrigued, but wary; for I have been tricked by cats before. Are you sure he's not up to something? Think back. He's never directed you to one hairball, cunningly leading you to step right in another en route? 😛

  7. Toe-Knee says:

    He's not really like that as I can recall… he's more direct and slightly violent. If he doesn't like you then he'll swat your leg or give it a little nip, he's not really scared of people being bigger than he is, so I don't think he's ever considered being more cunning than us. He's also very large for a cat which serves to intimidate.

  8. Xeyli says:

    When will these mutant frog people multiply and have enough forces to take on the sun-dwellers and their disregard for the Earth? I want pictures.

  9. foxsydee says:

    LOL…Denny's will never the same anymore! The Grand Slam breakfast doesn't quite sound the same anymore! (you've infected me! LOL!)

  10. grrrace says:

    i could never order moons over my hammy at denny's because i couldn't say it without busting up.

  11. Kirk says:

    "I want pictures." You do know mutant frog people sport huge, pulsing goiters, right? And how they have nipples in random places all over their bodies? And about the seeping?You'd pretty much need a cameraman who was adept at shooting photos while simultaneously throwing up.

  12. Kirk says:

    "The Grand Slam breakfast doesn't quite sound the same anymore!" Ha! Now I begin to wonder just how many of their menu items can be construed as innuendo. But I guess that depends on how far your sense of irony goes.Because, you know, the Chicken Strips, but won't do lap dances. 😛

  13. Kirk says:

    Don't worry. I'm sure they're used to people finding their food laughable. *rimshot*

  14. foxsydee says:

    Because, you know, the Chicken Strips, but won't do lap dances. 😛
    *snort* LMAO *snort*

  15. Kirk says:

    "…do you reckon is safe to dive in the NY's East River?" That depends. Do you have a remarkably strong immune system and a paralyzed gag reflex? 😛

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