You Didn’t Even Read My Letter, Did You, Mike?

Yeah, so if you bought one of these babies or came to acquire one through some other dark and unspeakable act (I'm looking at you, Kevin Wolf), you should know it just became a collector's item of sorts. So, you know, maybe don't wear it while beheading chickens anymore.

from: <>
to: Kirk Starr
date: Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 3:11 PM
subject: Zazzle Content Review: "The R'lyeh Thing" Dark Tee

Dear KirkStarr,

Thank you for your interest in, and thank you for publishing products on Zazzle. Unfortunately, it appears that your product, Cthulhu – The R'lyeh Thing, contains content that is not suitable for printing at

We will be removing this product from the Zazzle Marketplace shortly. The details of the product being removed are listed below:

• Product Title: Cthulhu – The R'lyeh Thing
• Product Type: Shirt
• Product ID: 235698612861750512
• Result: Not Approved

• Policy Violations: Design contains a trademarked image or text. If you are interested in purchasing Official Licensed Merchandise from Zazzle please visit: contains an image or text that infringes on intellectual property rights. We have been contacted by the intellectual property right holder and at their request we will be removing your product from Zazzle’s Marketplace due to intellectual property claims. We apologize for the inconvenience… If you have any questions or concerns about the review of your product, please email

Best Regards,
Content Review, Inc.

from: Kirk Starr
to: "" <>
date: Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 5:42 PM
subject: Say it with me: parody… pa-ro-dy…

To whomever gets paid to read this:

My "Cthulhu – The R'lyeh Thing" design is clearly parody and is altered significantly from the original Coke logo. I obviously don't have the powerful lawyers Coke has, so I have no realistic recourse, but I did want to let you know how disappointed I am in Zazzle for being so quick to judge against the small private artist and kowtow to the impotent threats of giant corporations.

Anyway, while you're at it, why don't you go ask Bally Midway if they have a problem with parody? You might have to delete my Bass Invader products, as well.

Oh, and give Angus Young a call. See if he gets his knickers in a wad over my AD/HD t-shirt design.

I suppose next you'll be telling me a contingent of zombies has requested I remove all art with any reference to the undead.

Pretty sad, Zazzle. Pretty sad.

Kirk Starr
Victim of Censorship

from: Zazzle Customer Support <>
reply-to: Zazzle Customer Support <>
to: Kirk Starr
date: Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 9:38 AM
subject: ZZZ:Zazzle Content Review: "The R'lyeh Thing" Dark Tee [Incident: 091006-001441] from Zazzle Customer

If this issue is not resolved to your satisfaction, you may reopen it
within the next 0 days.

Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you.

Dear Zazzler,

Thank you for your email.

Zazzle was contacted by The Coca Cola Company, and requested the removal of products that violated their trademark, copyright, trade dress, or intellectual property rights.

A detailed description of Zazzle content policies is available at

Zazzle galleries are public and users may contribute content freely.  Although we make every effort to ensure that the marketplace are kept free of copyrighted or otherwise inappropriate content, sometimes certain inappropriate products may become available for purchase.  We rely on the efforts of our users to bring inappropriate products to our attention by using the  violation link that is located on every product page. This will notify our Content Management Team to review any potentially infringing products.

Thanks for using

Best Regards,
Content Management Team, Inc.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
This entry was posted in Can I Say Something? and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to You Didn’t Even Read My Letter, Did You, Mike?

  1. Mister Major says:

    Unfortunately it sounds as if the contingent of zombies DID call. They have law degrees and are on retainer by the Coca-Cola corporation.

  2. Lurkertype says:

    Foo. Wish I'd gotten one. But we are all Coke's bitch.

  3. lauowolf says:

    Cthulhu versus CocaCola.I think I see who's really, really scary here.

  4. CrowSeer says:

    I thought f'sure that parodies were allowed under the law… but I guess all they has to do is wave around the threat of legal action (even legal action they know they'll probably lose) which smaller companies can't afford to fight. Shame though, because that's a funny shirt. Clearly drinking all that Coke has rotted their souls… 😦

  5. G says:

    Make a design for free and send it to Pirate bay. And while you're there read some of the hilarious leters they have sent to lawyers in the USA.
    Seriously funny reading.
    Also…the new design…make it something that says "Coke is composed of the piss of pedophiles" or you know something cool like that.

  6. Dear Zazzle,
    Just because Coke sucks slug anus doesn't mean you have to.
    Thanks for fricking nothing,

  7. Jenn says:

    Classic response.

  8. Kzinti says:

    Nothing that napalm can't cure… LOL

  9. Kirk says:

    "Nothing that napalm can't cure…" Wouldn't surprise me to learn Coca-Cola is an integral component in napalm.

  10. Kirk says:

    "Foo. Wish I'd gotten one." Karin seems rather dead-set on finding a private silk-screen firm we can afford and selling the t-shirts ourselves. I'll let you know.Of course, we'd need to come up with a brand name that's a parody of "Zazzle". 😛

  11. Kirk says:

    "Shame though, because that's a funny shirt." Thanks, Dee. 😀 It was one of those ideas I had that I just knew was a winner from the moment I conceived it. You know what I mean – like your Ugly Betty Guevara design.Even so, it's not like my paltry sales were in any danger of harming Coke's bottom line. Coke just has a very small penis.Metaphorically speaking, of course.

  12. Kirk says:

    Ha ha ha!I've missed you, Jay.

  13. Kirk says:

    "Cthulhu versus CocaCola.
    I think I see who's really, really scary here." I know, huh? At least the Great Old One has the kindness to turn you insane instantly and then eat you in a single gulp, as opposed to Coke which methodically rots you from the inside, slowly devouring you over an entire lifetime.

  14. Kirk says:

    "…read some of the hilarious leters they have sent to lawyers in the USA. Seriously funny reading." Thanks for the tip, G. You know how much I love that stuff.I'll have to research them a bit before I just up and hand them some designs, but I am intrigued.

  15. Kirk says:

    OK, so after yours and G's comments, I have: Slug Anus & Pedophile Piss.Is it just me, or does that sound like the title of a Marilyn Manson CD?

  16. lol. It doesn't quite flow as easily as "cake and sodomy" though.

  17. G says:

    Hahahahah, we should start an advertising firm !!

  18. Lauri says:

    The comments are great….but this is SO fucking wrong. How the hell many parodies are out there all over the place?!?!?!Can you market them somewhere else?

  19. Toe-Knee says:

    If you guys start an advertising firm I WANT IN! Seriously.

  20. Candy V. says:

    I agree that is a load of crap that they don't allow you to publish your stuff. I love the design by the way. Great stuff. I can totally see the difference between the actual COCA COLA logo and this.

  21. RedScylla says:

    I feel like I needn't say anything. My fucking avatar and use name says it all. Assholes.

  22. Loura says:

    I am sorry your design didn’t work out, it was fantastic! I’ve been reading Lovecraft and was inspired to make a much, much simpler Christmas ornament (parody also). Fingers crossed it will stay.

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