News That’s Fit to Fertilize Your Flowers

So my local news team "reported" today that Wal*Mart would be lowering thousands of prices over the next couple months. That was it. That was the "news" story.


Is the general public really so dreadfully obtuse they can't immediately recognize blatant advertising when they see it, or are we all just perceived to be that way by those faceless tyrants we customarily refer to collectively as "The Man"?

I make my living in advertising, so I feel confident in stating that regularly scheduled price reductions at the world's largest purveyor of cheap plastic crap is not news. It's preferential, thinly veiled corporate promotion being passed off as journalism by disingenuous fat cats and the glorified narrators (for I refuse to call them journalists) who work for them.

Honestly, it's no secret that practically everyone is lowering prices right now. Target, Fred Meyer, Home Depot, you name it. That's what happens in a shit economy, kids. Inflation goes away and prices drop because money stops moving. Wal*Mart is neither unique nor leading in the price-dropping arena, but to hear King5 tell it, they're the only ones trying to move product in this recession and omigawd you better get down there before they run out of eleven-dollar ungrounded space-heaters!!!

I wonder: does Wal*Mart sell manure? You know, in case my local news channel ever runs out. They're shoveling it at us pretty fast these days.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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5 Responses to News That’s Fit to Fertilize Your Flowers

  1. Scott says:

    Ugh. That's like how the BigCorp "news" channels constantly plug the entertainment industry's pap by reciting "news" items about Brad or Angelina or Miley or Beyonce or Jon & Kate or whoever the hell it is they're talking about these days.

  2. Marie says:

    Yeah, let's all rush down to our local Walmart and stand in line for at least an hour, before finally being waited on by some grumpy, over worked, under paid employee, because "lower prices" also means lower wage budget! Pfft…manure indeed!

  3. Kzinti says:

    Yes, they do sell manure. 50 or 80 pound bags too. Take your pick, all prices reduced for quick sale. You could put one in a case with a glass front that says "In case of Fox News shortage, break glass".

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