OK, So I’m No Aesop

It's five in the morning on a Monday.

You awaken to what feels like an angry blacksmith is using your bladder for a bellows.

You waste no time in getting out of bed.

Bleary, you shamble off to the bathroom.

The sound of a heavy Seattle downpour is coming in through a tiny, high-set window.

Just then, the toes of your right foot come to rest in a puddle of cold water.

NOW ANSWER QUICKLY: What is the first thought to enter your mind upon feeling the wetness?

Perhaps one of these?

A) The roof is leaking!!! Aaaaaiieeeee!!!

B) Well, at least it's not a warm puddle…
 
C) That reminds me, we need paper towels.

D) Hmm, I don't live in Seattle, so I must be dreaming.

E) Hmm, I don't have a right foot, so I must be dreaming.

F) Ew.

G) What an interesting coincidence there happened to be a heavy rain just when I discovered the watery evidence of a failed toilet shutoff valve.

For what it's worth, the first choice above was my first reaction and the last one on the list was the reality.

It's funny how the brain will sometimes contrive a false connection between two similar but utterly unrelated pieces of data and then regard the resulting incorrect assumption as fact, referring back to the original irrelevant data as its proof.

The moral of the story is that sometimes people put beer in apple juice bottles.

Or something to that effect.

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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13 Responses to OK, So I’m No Aesop

  1. Bookmole says:

    First thought would be Eeeeewwwwww!Then Not warn, not piss.Aggghhhh! Leaky roof!Hope you got it fixed OK.

  2. Lauri says:

    I love all the things the mind can do….it keeps itself very well entertained!I'm glad it was just water. My first thought would have been it's a puddle of dog/cat pee from early in the night! And I would probably be right!

  3. jaypo says:

    My first thought would have been it's a puddle of dog/cat pee from early in the night! Yeah! Who pee'd???

  4. Lurkertype says:

    I'd have gone with A b/c that's been happening here.Otherwise, I'd have been Ew, dreaming, and worried about cat pee.Glad it was only the valve.

  5. Damn, Kirk. Sorry 'bout your valve. When it rains, it really pours.(rimshot)

  6. Kirk says:

    Yup, got it done and am very pleased with myself. I even replaced the guts inside the tank. Out with the ugly, old ballcock and into the 21st century with the sleek, Fluidmaster 400 fill valve!It's super quiet! 😀

  7. Kirk says:

    "…it keeps itself very well entertained!" Glad someone was. 😉

  8. Kirk says:

    @LT and jaypo: The only reason pee doesn't jump to my mind is because we religiously keep the bathroom door shut. We do this because of the cats, of course.

  9. Kirk says:

    There was even more pouring. We quickly learned the main water shut-off
    to the house fails to completely stop water to that particular toilet. Strange. My
    dad suspects there is a secondary bypass somewhere since every other cold water supply in
    the house was completely shut off. I'm guessing maybe that has
    something to do with why the valve blew in the first place.So how then, you might ask, did I change out a valve when I couldn't stop the water completely? Started the washing machine filling on warm. Water from the hot water tank ran in and since the washer is downstairs, it took whatever cold water was coming into the house before it had a chance to reach the toilet valve. That bought enough time to install the plumbing.

  10. Budd says:

    I would have went with B.

  11. Laurie says:

    Water from the hot water tank ran in and since the washer is downstairs, it took whatever cold water was coming into the house before it had a chance to reach the toilet valve.
    Damn, you're clever.

  12. Roboco says:

    my first reaction was definitely, "well at least it wasn't a warm puddle" but it quickly went to "is it raining INSIDE the house?" funny what connections the brain will make when only half-awake. :)and now i know who to call when my plumbing goes haywire! do you make house-calls to Miami?

  13. Kzinti says:

    Wetness unwanted is still wetness unwanted.

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