TGIDG

It means “Thank God It’s DG” – you know, because today is Friday – but now that I look at it again, it kinda reminds me of the comments being left by the spammers currently spreading through VOX like a pestilent infection. Seriously, what is it about gibberish that these creeps think will give me confidence in their fly-by-night scams? Sorry, but even if I thought I needed a vacation in Singapore, a banal self-help philosophy, and something called a “dlagktly flggithurathzkl”, I’d be disinclined to purchase them from a cadre of faceless imbeciles on the internet.

True story: I recently deleted a comment from a spammer on a song I had posted. The comment read, “I agree it is good good idea”. Well, that’s “good good” to know, and I’ll tell you why. The song was a condensed telling of Poe’s horror classic The Cask of Amontillado and, well, I sort of like to avoid doing business with people who feel burying someone alive behind the remotest wall of a wine cellar is a workable solution to a problem. I mean, what if I happen to miss a payment on my new dlagktly flggithurathzkl? Next thing I know, I’m serving as fancy, organic insulation in the walls of some mansion in Southeastern Europe. All because I bought a dlagktly flggithurathzkl I didn’t even need! No thanks.

Anyway, that’s enough about those murderous spammers and their evil plot to build their mountain-top houses from our dried bones. Let’s look at pictures of the Deej.

This first one shows DG in one of his daily rituals: “bird watchee”. Every morning, without fail, DG saunters into the bedroom and, if there is no easy way up onto the bed via piled laundry, begins meowing until I lift him up to his favorite spot by the window. He will sometimes stand staring out the window just like this for 30-40 minutes, depending on the level of bird-and-squirrel activity.

Pardon me, but would you have any Grey Poupon?

No? Then, might you possess something grey that I may poop on?

DG is in no way a coy kitteh. What you’re seeing here is merely his method for getting whatever the hell he wants.

DG’s look of controlled annoyance. His look of uncontrolled annoyance has never been photographed because pain and the sight of my own blood always make me forget I’m holding a camera.

There he is. My world-famous, hyper-photogenic cat. One of these days, I’m going to get out a black Sharpie and add mock seal skin spots to his white area so he looks like he’s wearing a king’s coronation robe. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

No? Just me, then…

Have a terrific weekend, peeps! 😀

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About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
This entry was posted in The Book of Deej, The VOX Years and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to TGIDG

  1. YGRS says:

    oooooooh him is such a hansum kittyboy!!blowing smooches to teh dej. xxx ———> =^;^=

  2. Laurie says:

    Yes, the ermine-trimmed robe effect would be awesome. Go forth and make it so! (You can just photoshop the spots in so you don't risk injury again, can't you?)

  3. lauowolf says:

    And who doesn't want to edit their cat's coat with a sharpie pen now and then.

  4. AmyH says:

    Every day is better with a little Deej in it! Thanks for sharing!
    Once in a while I feel like replying to one of the spambots and say "WTF are you even talking about?" Kind of like the guy who replied to a Nigerian email scam and started a conversation with the Nigerian dude. I don't remember all of how it went, but I liked how someone wanted to see who was really behind the curtain.

  5. jaypo says:

    LOL@ Gray to poop on!A dash of Deej perhaps to go with that, m'sieur?

  6. Lurkertype says:

    SMOOCH to Deej! It's always good to see his cute face.Don't mar that lovely white fur with Sharpie specks (and your blood if you ever tried).His buddy TK sez: hi! hi deej! yu need a windo shlef like me an tortie hav! it is teh best way too watch birdz an yu dont hav too wait for daddy too pick yu up. yu can bee on it all teh tim, an evn nap ther. bye!

  7. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    Thanks for sharing your Deej with his minions. We really love seeing fresh new pictures of him.You brightened my poor little unemployed day. Thanks.

  8. Ladywise says:

    Pretty cat Kirk.

  9. I was dying laughing over your spammer story. The kids are in bed here and our bedroom door was open, so I had to put my hand over my mouth and try to laugh softly. Not an easy feat when reading something as funny as what you wrote about the song…and the comment…and the bones…LOLOLOL!!!!!!

  10. Lurkertype says:

    How do you get anything done in the house, other than just kissing DG's face?

  11. Kirk says:

    "How do you get anything done in the house, other than just kissing DG's face?" In short: I don't (as evidenced by the abysmal response time on these comments).

  12. Kirk says:

    "…I had to put my hand over my mouth and try to laugh softly. Not an easy feat when reading something as funny as what you wrote about the song…and the comment…and the bones…LOLOLOL!!!!!!" Thanks! I'm always so grateful for people who get my peculiar brand of humor and don't just assume I'm barmy.

  13. Kirk says:

    "Pretty cat Kirk." Thanks, Ladywise! 😀 I passed your compliment on to the Deej and he pretty much expected a kiss to go with it like he gets from Lurkertype and YGRS and I-Luv-Eeyore and so many others. He gets kissed a lot (see comment to LT above).

  14. Kirk says:

    "…minions…" DG prefers the term "subjects," but I've stopped humoring him on his more snobbish requests. Truth be told, he's never actually even seen a jar of Grey Poupon. I doubt he even knows what it is.Sorry to hear you're still unemployed. Karin's in the same boat. It's hard in so many ways, not the least of which is the terrible beating taken by your ego. Hang in there, dear. It's not you, it's the economy.

  15. Kirk says:

    "His buddy TK sez: hi! hi deej! yu need a windo shlef like me an tortie hav!" I keep promising to make him one and I keep failing to do so. Of course, DG keeps telling me he'll stop sleeping in precarious, scary places, and yet continues to do just that. In fact, a couple days ago, he used up one of his few remaining nine lives doing just that.If I build him a shelf, it will need to have relatively high sides and a widow-facing entryway. DG is nothing if not high-maintenance.

  16. Kirk says:

    "A dash of Deej perhaps to go with that, m'sieur?" Fortunately, we got him fixed soon enough that although he tries to put a dash of Deej everywhere he goes, he is pretty much unable to do so. 😛

  17. Kirk says:

    "Once in a while I feel like replying to one of the spambots and say ' WTF are you even talking about?'" I considered the "Defeat Them With Public Criticism" tactic until I found out the entire reason they do what they do is to get a response so their rating on internet search engines like Google is boosted. It's all a pitiful and poorly executed validation grab.Still, it is strangely entertaining to watch people engage them as if they are addressing a rational, intelligent person.

  18. Kirk says:

    Yes, the ermine-trimmed robe effect would be awesome. Go forth and make it so! (You can just photoshop the spots in so you don't risk injury again, can't you?) Yup. And I suspect the injuries delivered by Karin would rival those from the Deej. It's gonna have to be a Photoshop job, to be sure.Oh, and a gold star for name-dropping the proper mammal. 🙂

  19. Kirk says:

    DG reports smooches received, enjoyed, and… wait, that can't be right. Hold on……well… *sigh* OK, from the beginning (and this is pushing the limits of my previously mentioned "no snobby requests" policy)…DG reports smooches received, enjoyed, and cataloged.He's such a brat.

  20. Kirk says:

    "And who doesn't want to edit their cat's coat with a sharpie pen now and then…" That's what I said! But everyone around here looks at me like I'm losing my mind. We artists truly suffer for our passion.

  21. Lurkertype says:

    We purchased a window shelf with a fleecy hammock. That got it done much faster than trying to make one. Search for "cat perch" or "cat shelf" and check out the varieties. Ours is surprisingly sturdy; they both leap onto it, once in a while even together.I know it's an extra expense, but I'm sure Deej thinks he should have the best. Heck, if we had any spare money, I'd get one for him.

  22. I don't know who that would be…..you have a wonderful sense of humor 🙂 !!!

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