The Thing That Could Not Be

Not that I’ve been posting much anyway, but I think this may be the last thing I post here at Cthulhu is my Copilot (though I will jealously guard my trademark on the title for future endeavors). The reasons for my departure are many but, as pitiful as it seems, the most significant one is going to end up being a lack of internet access…

Republicans filibustered* the unemployment extension again last night, which means serious impending hardship for Karin and me, despite the fact we have always been hard-working, law-abiding taxpayers. We’ve lived as the Right would have us live, yet we find it more and more difficult to pull ourselves up by those magical bootstraps Republicans keep flapping their jaws about. Turns out that conservatives are simply wrong in their blind belief that hard work is all you need to get by and that only lazy deadbeats ever suffer poverty. Wrong. Obviously wrong.

Nevertheless, I feel it incumbent upon me in this time of back-assed elitist fuckery to tap the unemployment issue for more evidence as to just how wrong Republicans are. If I have to be silenced, then at least allow me to scream with all my might one last time. So here goes:

Republican Unemployment Lie 1 – “We aren’t against unemployment benefits.”

Republicans say they don’t have a problem with extending unemployment; they claim what they have a problem with is growing the deficit to pay for it.

Calling that a specious rationale would be a gross understatement. If the Right would please dispense with bullshit justifications, we might eventually be able to discuss this topic intelligently. Nietzsche put it best: “The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.”

Conservatives had no problem with Dubya creating the god-damned deficit by launching into poorly planned wars while simultaneously cutting the very taxes that were supposed to pay for them, so this right-wing reasoning that it is unfair to spend that same government money to help Americans survive pretty much betrays the condition of their priorities.

It should be noted that federally backed unemployment extensions have always been funded by emergency spending and as Michigan junior Senator Debbie Stabenow succinctly put it, “…if 15 million people out of work isn’t an emergency, I don’t know what is.”

Republican Unemployment Lie 2 – “Reallocating job-creation funds will work better.”

Republicans say it makes more sense to renege on the stimulus packages already allocated elsewhere – namely, funding to help create new jobs – and use that money to pay unemployment.

Cripes. Again with the poorly reasoned arguments! What they’ve basically said here is that you can pay for unemployment or you can pay for job creation, but funding both is just plain unthinkable. Can’t be done. Of course, we get no intelligent explanation as to why this is. It’s a lot like how they don’t want people being on welfare, but they don’t want to help pay for schooling so people can get off welfare.

But, see, Ezra Klein points out that “taking the money for a bridge that was to be built next month in order to fund unemployment benefits for next week is like bailing water from one part of the boat into another part.”

It is a perfectly insidious way, however, of making the failure look like the fault of the Left: Republicans offered to rape job-creation funding – an offer they knew Democrats would reject because it’s so stupid – so that they could then point the finger at Democrats as turning down unemployment extensions. In fact, it didn’t take long for Michigan Republican Representative Dave Camp to do just that. He said, “Americans are not receiving their unemployment checks because Democrats refuse to pay for these benefits… We could pass this bill with broad bipartisan support if Democrats would just agree to pay for the spending.”

Dave Camp is a duplicitous, lying fucker who fully typifies his greed-based political party. What’s worse is that he knows it. Every greedy son-of-a-bitch in the world is aware of his own greed. Every sane person understands right and wrong. But not everyone is entirely honest with themselves.

Republican Unemployment Lie 3 – “There are more important things than money.”

It’s true, but not when said by a 21st-century Republican. To them, nothing is more important than money; not millions of unemployed Americans with no source of income; not homeless children with untreated diseases; not countless species of innocent animals ingesting crude oil; nothing.

OK, fine, it could be successfully argued that right-wingers value spite more than money since they’ll spend everything they have just to keep from having to share any of it. And I guess the fact they will hemorrhage money into retaliatory wars means their cowardice also outweighs their greed…

…so I guess we’ll call this last one a “grossly misleading statement” as opposed to a “lie”. An insubstantial difference, really, but it would be hypocritical of me to knowingly misrepresent the facts, wouldn’t it?

Well, it’s been an interesting experience, this blogging thing. I’ve met some really cool people with whom I hope to never lose touch. I’ve also met a few real pieces of shit that I sincerely hope I will never have to encounter again as long as I live. If you’re in either of these groups, chances are you already know it. Do try to choose your actions accordingly, would you?

*Yeah, I used “filibuster” as a verb and I’m OK with it. I mean, it’s not like I blew up a bunch of children, polluted the ocean, and fought with all my might to keep basic rights from certain types of people. That would make me a true asshole.


About kirkstarr

I draw pictures for a living.
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34 Responses to The Thing That Could Not Be

  1. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    Dang! I'm going to miss you…and the DG.But, I understand. My unemployment runs out next week.

  2. mariser says:

    only one thing to sayaye, fuck.

  3. Xeyli says:

    I don't want to have to think about not reading from you anymore. You'll be missed, that is for sure.e-mail me!

  4. Lurkertype says:

    Kirk, before you lose the net access, PM me yer phone number. Must keep in touch with you and my boy Deej. Plus, we're halfway through our unemployment benefits with no relief in sight, so we may need to start a commune with you… hey, you guys won't even notice a couple more cats, right?

  5. Red Mosquito says:

    You will be missed. If I ever get to Seattle, I'll have to look you up. Unless I'm on that piece of shit list. 😉

  6. kalita says:

    Holy crap, America needs social welfare. Stuff the deficit – reclaim it from business and personal tax when people actually have jobs again. It's so sad and scary to know that unemployment benefits run out. Good luck in net-free land (and with the job-hunt!).

  7. jaypo says:

    Maybe you can just keep your page for future reference… for when you can come back??Take care, Kirk. You're unforgettable, don't worry about that.

  8. Kirk says:

    Yeah, I knew you were getting down there; you're one of the people I've worried about most. Broke my heart to read about you considering McD's. No respectable adult should have to lower their head and their ego and take a job like that. It's a teen job, plain and simple. To be told you should just buck up and accept it as the new reality is nothing more than a thinly veiled insult. The curious fact that it's always parroted by those who aren't in the same
    position themselves should be evidence enough of that.For what it's worth, you'll always have a place at the Lurking Cephalopod Commune. We'll even have a swimming pool (most people call it a lake).

  9. Kirk says:

    I'll contact peeps and also check to make sure my email addy is available in my profile to people in my neighborhood.BTW, did you get my reply to your PM last week?

  10. Kirk says:

    But of course!For the record, I'm not deleting my VOX. I actually want to stay this time around; just might not be able to. ALTHOUGH it occurs to me that I could always write my posts at home and then just upload them while on breaks at work. Thing is, everything I've had to say recently has been stuff like this post and I've been trying to obey Thumper's Rule.The commune sounds like terrific idea. People have always told me that communal life is impossible because of human greed. I've always always thought the logic was pretty obvious that greedy people simply wouldn't be allowed to remain in the commune, so I'd agree with them that, for them, life would be impossible on a commune.Communes are always nigh-overrun with cats. It's a feature! 😀

  11. Kirk says:

    JT, you know good and well which list you're on.And I you will come to Seattle; just a matter of when. You can't help it. Birthplace of Pearl Jam. It's like your Mecca or something, isn't it? 😛

  12. Kirk says:

    Thanks, kalita! And welcome to CimC! :)Fortunately, I still have a fabulous graphic design career, so it's not as if we would have no income at all; just that things like cable tv and internet would likely have to be cut in favor of other things like the mortgage and car payment. Then again, I'm not entirely sure how Karin would do looking for work without 'net access. It's a learning experience, to be sure.Apologies, by the way, for the delay in your comment being posted. The recent rash of spamming has necessitated such measures. It sucks.

  13. CrowSeer says:

    Terrible news… but I'm glad to read that you'll still have e-mail. Hope things pick up soon, on the employment front. As ever it's not about "jobs" so much as "careers" or "vocations"… there's definitely a difference between the two!

  14. Kirk says:

    "As ever it's not about "jobs" so much as "careers" or "vocations"… there's definitely a difference between the two!" Quite right, Dee. Karin once had a career… until they shipped it to India. Now they expect her to be happy with any old job while people in another country handle our personal banking information. That's the result – nay, the purpose – of this "free" market adored by so many conservatives: to keep just enough workers subjugated so as to claim larger and larger returns on their labor but not so many of them as to cause an uprising.I'm to a point where I see the right-wing position as roundly indefensible. Period. They'll keep trying to defend it, though, because to stop confusing the issue with twisted rhetoric (cf. Dave Camp's quote above) and simply confess how they really feel about workers and the poor would mean the end of their party because it would open the eyes of all those lower income hard-working laborers who foolishly vote Republican as a matter of habitual course.

  15. AmyH says:

    You will be sorely missed, indeed.
    This last rant is spot on. Thank you for being so researched but I'm so sorry for the intensely personal reason for it. Best of luck to the entire family up there and I hope to see around these Vox parts again.
    You'll make it through.

  16. Kirk says:

    Thanks so much, Amy."You'll make it through." We always do. We have to, right? 🙂 It just sucks that when things get tough, what ends up getting cut back are the most enjoyable things, leaving nothing but work and sleep. But that which does not kill me…

  17. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    Okay. You made me cry.You are so sweet.If I do end up at McDonald's I will be a manager—I will not stay a counter girl or drive through runner for long. Long enough to prove that I have what it takes to manage the customers and the workers.

  18. Xeyli says:

    Yes, I did. I haven't had a chance to grab some music yet. Thanks in advance!

  19. Kirk, I will miss you. Lately I have felt so powerless about the government. My vote doesn't count and neither does my voice. Because if it did, we wouldn't be sending more CIA people around the world to drum up more wars, we'd be taking care of our own. If I can do anything for you and Karen, please let me know. All the best to both of you.

  20. Kirk says:

    Thanks so much, ef. BTW, just in case you didn't know, Karin and I both think you're great.You bring up an important point: our votes seem next to useless. I thought part of fixing the joblessness problem was going to be putting a stop to outsourcing labor – bring Karin's occupation back home, along with so many others. But no. Now we're being asked to take money from job creation to fund unemployment benefits or go without unemployment benefits entirely. What the hell happened?

  21. Thank you both. I think you two are such wonderful people. I wish I knew what happened. I guess all I can attribute it to is an empire in decline. The people in power are clinging on so tight to a way of life that is no longer appropriate or truly ours. It's time to re-envision our country and figure out what we need to do to fix ourselves. It's like when a septugenarian thinks he's still the big football jock in high school. Sad and foolish. Unfortunately here, though, so many additional people have to suffer because of our leadership's delusion.

  22. Drude says:

    Hugs to you and Karin. I'm glad you're not vanishing completely, just getting less connected… There are times when i think it would be nice to have no internet… All the time I'd have for those 'projects' that are now lying around in corners of the house half finished… books I want to read… that sort of things.I still hope the job situation improves so you guys can get back to yer usual connectedness… because… I miss your rants and teh pixhurs of da Deej and da Diblet.

  23. DJ says:

    😦 Take care, Kirk.

  24. Laurie says:

    It's always sad to lose a neighbor to the great unconnectedness. You're cool and you have interesting things to say that we won't get to hear any more. That's a damn shame.
    Good thoughts to Karin in the job hunt — nothing scares me like unemployment. And keep those critters of your well and entertained.

  25. lauowolf says:

    dang dang dang dang danglife is generally sucky all around just now, but I'm so sorry to hear that it is sucky for you too.sending good thoughts for continuing job hunt.(and save me a slot in that commune too!)

  26. lizzy says:

    aww noo, that's so sad. i'm not here much but i come by now and then to catch up so i will miss you both. today i came by especially for you with this link:!

  27. ken says:

    i would tell you by the end of next week the unemployment bene's will most likely be restored,or i could tell you to go to the east of wshington and find some more down to earth work,either way hope abounds!not likeing the change so much!!

  28. Kirk says:

    Thanks, ken. Yeah, turns out Karin's OK for a little while longer, which is a huge relief. Having her entire career shipped off to another country is tough to come back from. She's looking at big change, to be sure."…go to the east of wshington and find some more down to earth work…"Ha ha ha! Yeah, I could quit my advertising design career and the two of us could go pick apples. Picking fruit's about as down to earth as it gets. :-PAnd, something that is sure to make you smile: I'm unhappy with Obama. Particularly regarding the off-shoring/outsourcing issue. All the unemployment benefits in the world are just a bandage if he doesn't stop jobs from heading to cheaper lands.Guess they can't offshore apple-picking, though…

  29. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    i would tell you by the end of next week the unemployment bene's will most likely be restored, heh, I hope Alabama votes FOR the unemployment benefits as I am done. Done. Done. When I made a call and asked a real live person about it earlier this week—she told me I wasn't eligible for anything—she then got to hear me trying desperately not to bawl. She did stick around while I pulled myself together. Then she proceeded to answer my questions about how to get hired for a State job. Today, I'm going down to the local Career Center to take a typing test (40 wpm with 10 or less errors). Then at a time to be determined later I will go to Montgomery to take a state test to see if I qualify for any of the many government jobs.

  30. I-Luv-Eeyore says:

    Yeah, turns out Karin's OK for a little while longer, which is a huge relief. Having her entire career shipped off to another country is tough to come back from. It's good to hear that Karin (and you) will be okay for a little while longer. It really sucks to have your job moved to India. Especially when you are the one that went to India to train these people. I had not idea I was training them on how to do MY job.I did a whole bunch of adding and subtracting and moving things around. On paper we are okay. All bills paid every month with about $300 to spend on groceries and other house-hold items. On paper, it works, in real life it feels next to impossible.

  31. ken says:

    i've had two jobs head off to other country's one to mexico and the other to indonesia and the best part is they will be making these products then sending them back here for sale,the only people that are hiring right now is the government or companys that depend on the lions share of their revenue from the government.i had a job making chocolate in the middle of cow country in vermont but all our dried milk came from new zealand,a global economy can work but it needs to make sense,and america doesn't have to have 15% unemployment just to prove how generous they are….

  32. Kirk says:

    "…the only people that are hiring right now is the government or companys that depend on the lions share of their revenue from the government…" …or companies whose core business is direct sales.

  33. Kirk says:

    "I had not idea I was training them on how to do MY job."I've been asked to do that before. "Here, train your replacement, who we will pay a fraction of what we pay you." If you refuse, you just lose your job sooner than you would if you comply. It's fucked up."On paper we are okay… in real life it feels next to impossible." Funny how the paperwork never matches the reality, huh? When I was first making it out on my own, my mom used to always try to pin me down on where my money was going, saying I certainly made enough to pay my bills. I tried to explain that her fancy adding machine didn't take into account the "little things". Then she'd want an example and I'd have a hard time giving her one. There are just expenses that you cannot always foresee.Hang in there. I'm rooting for you to get a nice, relaxing gubment job. 🙂

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