Not that I’ve been posting much anyway, but I think this may be the last thing I post here at Cthulhu is my Copilot (though I will jealously guard my trademark on the title for future endeavors). The reasons for my departure are many but, as pitiful as it seems, the most significant one is going to end up being a lack of internet access…
Republicans filibustered* the unemployment extension again last night, which means serious impending hardship for Karin and me, despite the fact we have always been hard-working, law-abiding taxpayers. We’ve lived as the Right would have us live, yet we find it more and more difficult to pull ourselves up by those magical bootstraps Republicans keep flapping their jaws about. Turns out that conservatives are simply wrong in their blind belief that hard work is all you need to get by and that only lazy deadbeats ever suffer poverty. Wrong. Obviously wrong.
Nevertheless, I feel it incumbent upon me in this time of back-assed elitist fuckery to tap the unemployment issue for more evidence as to just how wrong Republicans are. If I have to be silenced, then at least allow me to scream with all my might one last time. So here goes:
Republican Unemployment Lie 1 – “We aren’t against unemployment benefits.”
Republicans say they don’t have a problem with extending unemployment; they claim what they have a problem with is growing the deficit to pay for it.
Calling that a specious rationale would be a gross understatement. If the Right would please dispense with bullshit justifications, we might eventually be able to discuss this topic intelligently. Nietzsche put it best: “The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.”
Conservatives had no problem with Dubya creating the god-damned deficit by launching into poorly planned wars while simultaneously cutting the very taxes that were supposed to pay for them, so this right-wing reasoning that it is unfair to spend that same government money to help Americans survive pretty much betrays the condition of their priorities.
It should be noted that federally backed unemployment extensions have always been funded by emergency spending and as Michigan junior Senator Debbie Stabenow succinctly put it, “…if 15 million people out of work isn’t an emergency, I don’t know what is.”
Republican Unemployment Lie 2 – “Reallocating job-creation funds will work better.”
Republicans say it makes more sense to renege on the stimulus packages already allocated elsewhere – namely, funding to help create new jobs – and use that money to pay unemployment.
Cripes. Again with the poorly reasoned arguments! What they’ve basically said here is that you can pay for unemployment or you can pay for job creation, but funding both is just plain unthinkable. Can’t be done. Of course, we get no intelligent explanation as to why this is. It’s a lot like how they don’t want people being on welfare, but they don’t want to help pay for schooling so people can get off welfare.
But, see, Ezra Klein points out that “taking the money for a bridge that was to be built next month in order to fund unemployment benefits for next week is like bailing water from one part of the boat into another part.”
It is a perfectly insidious way, however, of making the failure look like the fault of the Left: Republicans offered to rape job-creation funding – an offer they knew Democrats would reject because it’s so stupid – so that they could then point the finger at Democrats as turning down unemployment extensions. In fact, it didn’t take long for Michigan Republican Representative Dave Camp to do just that. He said, “Americans are not receiving their unemployment checks because Democrats refuse to pay for these benefits… We could pass this bill with broad bipartisan support if Democrats would just agree to pay for the spending.”
Dave Camp is a duplicitous, lying fucker who fully typifies his greed-based political party. What’s worse is that he knows it. Every greedy son-of-a-bitch in the world is aware of his own greed. Every sane person understands right and wrong. But not everyone is entirely honest with themselves.
Republican Unemployment Lie 3 – “There are more important things than money.”
It’s true, but not when said by a 21st-century Republican. To them, nothing is more important than money; not millions of unemployed Americans with no source of income; not homeless children with untreated diseases; not countless species of innocent animals ingesting crude oil; nothing.
OK, fine, it could be successfully argued that right-wingers value spite more than money since they’ll spend everything they have just to keep from having to share any of it. And I guess the fact they will hemorrhage money into retaliatory wars means their cowardice also outweighs their greed…
…so I guess we’ll call this last one a “grossly misleading statement” as opposed to a “lie”. An insubstantial difference, really, but it would be hypocritical of me to knowingly misrepresent the facts, wouldn’t it?
Well, it’s been an interesting experience, this blogging thing. I’ve met some really cool people with whom I hope to never lose touch. I’ve also met a few real pieces of shit that I sincerely hope I will never have to encounter again as long as I live. If you’re in either of these groups, chances are you already know it. Do try to choose your actions accordingly, would you?
*Yeah, I used “filibuster” as a verb and I’m OK with it. I mean, it’s not like I blew up a bunch of children, polluted the ocean, and fought with all my might to keep basic rights from certain types of people. That would make me a true asshole.